SELECTIVE MUTISM|Purple Ella

I often still can't talk when there is pressure. I just can't make my mouth go. I didn't realize that it was a thing until I was an adult.

I'm realizing I spent lots of my young years being mistreated and berated because of my mutism. By teachers and parents alike, consistent verbal abuse because of it. Teachers liked to call out my name to answer their questions and ll I'd do is stare at them blankly, not answering. It made everyone in the classroom uncomfortable, but I saw no point answering. It's like I shut down. I can think, my mouth simply will not move to form the words. I've gone my entire life as an undiagnosed autistic. The amount of times I have been ostracized and slighted because of my biology is unprecedented.

This needs more views. This needs to be talked about more. People have gotten mad at me my entire life for my SM. It still happens even now, because no one knows this is a thing.

I also had selective mutism as a child and it's interesting how you say you would study people because I did the exact same thing. Even now I like to watch and listen to people interacting with each other. And now in January I am starting school to pursue a degree in psychology!

Kids with undiagnosed SM grow up to be adults who still have SM tendencies like me😢

I was publicly mute especially for most of my kindergarten year, and after that, I was very quiet but would speak when directly addressed. Ros has a lot of good insight; I did spend a lot of my quiet time studying people, and I totally had a "why bother" attitude, especially the younger I was; it seems paradoxical, but I was a very cynical toddler. I actively role played "being a human" after I decided I'd have to interact; I memorized "how humans act in this scenario" examples.

Excellent book that "The Reason I Jump" I have had selective mute moments all through my life, especially when anxious. My experiences were sadly more of the "Why are you not saying anything? Cat got your tongue? Come on speak up!" Variety. This doesn't help at all

I didn't think that I would relate to this video, but I did way more than I was expecting. I can't get words out sometimes, even if I know I should respond. A lot of people will say something about the awkward silence, but to me, it feels fine. I can't really respond when I should, and other times, I just don't feel like it's necessary. I've learned that it's easiest to hide in my room, so I don't have to respond. It's bad when I'm in the car with someone, or at school. I go places with my mom a lot, and she tries to make conversation, but sometimes I just can't respond, so I tend to nod, or give her some sort of acknowledgment, but it gets awkward since she expects me to say something. Similar things tend to happen at school.

I was like that for much of my childhood. My dad was a special ed teacher so he spotted neurodivergent signs relatively early on, though I was diagnosed with ADHD rather than Autism back then. He would push me to talk during certain situations and refused to let me completely shut down. In school, I was supposed to raise my hand at least once per class either to answer a question or ask one. And during social events, I was tasked with finding at least one person to have a conversation with. After that, I could stay quiet as much as I wanted. As much as I complained back then, the method really did help. I'm still not the best at talking, but I know enough to be considered "normal".

I've never been per say called Socially Mute..., like it's not for me a condition. Really it's more of a reaction in my case, if anyone gets what I mean? I've been known to go mute or partially mute at various points in my life. I would respond if addressed but otherwise wouldn't engage in conversation. These times tend to revolve around major life struggles like my parents divorce when I was young, daily bullying at school in my teenage years, and a toxic work environment as an adult. Essentially I go mute when in a major depressive episode.

At 7:04 Ros starts holding the dog. You’re welcome.

I can remember being a first or second grader and having a classmate say to me, “So you CAN talk!” I don’t remember what I said to prompt this. I don’t even remember ever being unresponsive when addressed. But I still don’t have the impulse to talk just because I’m around another person, and small talk has never been for me.

A lot of this resonates with me. I think my selective mutism was a mix of not wanting people to notice me, and just finding the act of talking to people I wasn't comfortable with extremely tiring. I still get that sometimes and really have to push through it to be able to speak. I also found it extremely difficult to start talking to some people after years of not talking to them, because I knew some people would make a big deal about it, so even after deciding I had to change and get better with talking, it took going to high school and having that fresh start to be able to talk to people. I managed better in high school with it, but I'm still quite shy and find it hard to talk sometimes I think it's a good point about how sometimes it's nice to just be with people without having to talk the whole time, sometimes I feel really close to people like my boyfriend and best friend when we're just sitting together, doing our own things or doing an activity together Thanks for these videos. I'm not diagnosed with autism but I think I may be autistic and either way, it helps hearing someone else have the same experiences

Ros seems exceptional. Had to say it lol. Wow

I think I still have a mild version of selective mutism, where I simply don't understand the necessity to get to know new people, but I will talk just because I learned that it's expected of me.

Prefer the term situational mutism. I don’t have the ability to select when I can’t speak.

I could easily relate to this autism video I remember during my early childhood years I used to have a hard time verbally processing my words I could hear them in my head but was unable to speak them properly thankfully my speech therapy help me a lot during my middle school I still have some speech problem but not as serve as my past childhood.

Non-verbal moments: I have even had non-verbal moments with my friend on the phone, sometimes 15 minutes or more. She didn't like a lot of talking either, and if we ran out of words it was enough to know the other one was there. I had selective mutism as a child, but I don't know about her, and I still have instances of it. When I'm really stressed or when I can't think of the words to say.

Very interesting. I also like u and Ros:) I grew up learning and thinking that not answering or not talking much is somehow impolite. They never told me that it's not necessarily a choise and that even if it is a choise, it's equally okay. I'm autistic and always felt terrified when I had to speak in class. But 'not talking' never was presented as one of the options. It's weird to think about how the existing social rules are excluding so many people who are not comfortable with the way things are. Good that u are creating some selective mutism awareness! 👏

Ros makes a good point at around 6:30; there's nothing I'd enjoy more than doing chores and running errands if it's with someone I love. I find time so much more valuable than words.