Motherhood, Identity and Politics

I dont have any kids yet but I work in local government and I really appreciate the message you are sending to your audience. Particularly about spoiling your ballot if you do not want to vote as it is so important that we use our right to vote and if you spoil your ballot that goes down as a statistic and shows more of a strong message to paliment that you disagree with the way things are run. If you just decide not to vote the politicians will spin it that the UK citizens do not care about the country and are "too lazy" to bother Voting. ❤

“Because a) I’m not an arsehole” is my favourite thing you have ever said 😂

In my experience the adjustment to parenthood depended heavily on personality. I decided to wait and became a mum at 29 and I don’t feel like it’s a huge adjustment for a few reasons; firstly, my career started much later (post grad school), I’m a very introverted homebody, and being a caretaker is something that I find enjoyment in. I think the difficultly comes into the juxtaposition between your natural tendencies versus what parenthood requires.

The identity part about age is so interesting to me. I’ve always known I wanted to have kids, I love them and was a brownie & guide leader, worked at kids summer camps etc, but I’m now in my early 30s and the practicalities of having a child feel so abstract and life altering now, and I think you’re right because I’ve done 10 years of ‘life’ working on my career and creating my day to day world without a child, so it would be a huge shift. I wonder if this is very common now as people are having kids later in life! I still want to have kids, but it does feel more daunting then it did when I was younger ironically!

Bryony I would love to hear your thoughts on the gender pain gap. I know you waited a long time for your adenomyosis diagnosis (and had to go private to get it) and had your lyme disease misdiagnosed as me. I just got my endometriosis diagnosis at the age of 38 after 20 years of being laughed at and am now learning the extent of the problem with lack of research and funding into womens health, lack of treatment options and an average wait of 10 years for diagnosis. Would love to hear your thoughts on this and perhaps an update on your adenomyosis if you wanted to share :)

‘I’m not an arsehole’. Properly made me lol 😂

I had my first at 36 and it was the best thing I ever did. I have financial security, a good career in a field I’m passionate about, secured promotion to a senior role 6 months after returning to work and have flexible working to make work work around my family. I never had any identity crisis or significant concerns about “who am I now”, I am mummy, the person I was always intended to be.

Thank you for getting political, so many people shy away from the topic but it is SO important!

Im a Briony ALSO big into politics. I love the study of it, the analyst programmes after every debate, and so on. I try to stay up and watch the polls come in, i do with US politics too (even though im British).

My partner is a godfather and he has a lot of experience of being a hands on godfather role when nappy changes, feedings and giving the parents a break from parenting out of personal desire to be with his goddaughter. That helps me when it comes to knowing he can be trusted with children and to have a child with him one day would be lovely.

I had my first at 20 nearly 21. So quite young - I think I fell into motherhood young and almost grew my identity as a mum if that makes sense. Now I’m 34 and the eldest is 13 and twins are 8, they are so independent and I am getting to the point where I need hobby’s for myself outside of work but it’s so difficult I do feel like I’m doing things for me and starting to build my character not all based around the children ! Which I never expected I’d feel like this to be honest - I love being a mum ❤

I was 28 when I got preganant after atruggling to conceive for nearly 2 years. My son will be 7 weeks old tomorrow (sunday june 15th) I found pregnancy difficult (like you I was very sick) the birth of my son was extremely traumatic as he was very ill and nearly died and I've found motherhood very stressful and hard but somehow I still love it and want more children. I've always been very political tbh but I'm even more worried about the future of this country since having my son, and I think now it is more important than ever to be political. I will never have any shame bringing my views into a conversation and what you've said is really important. Keep using your platform like this. We need people to vote and we need the Tories out.

Everything's political. Whether you're interested in it or not.

Love this type of chit chatty video Bryony! That analogy about the Labour Party crossing a slippery floor with a vase is brilliant - if they get erratic or go too far left they might lose some of the more right-thinking tories who could otherwise vote Labour. It’s a very delicate balance and we shouldn’t assume that a Labour government is in the bag!

I am an introvert and didn't really like going out much and so changing to having a child wasn't much of a change to me I prefer to be with family, and I'm still not outgoing. I am quite a shy person, but my family means everything to me 😊. I became a mum at 27 yrs old

Great advice regarding politics! Another resource for anyone unsure - Vote For Policies is a very useful site that lets you pick policies you like from manifestos without saying who they're from, then tells you the parties afterwards. They are currently updating to the brand new manifestos and should be ready any day now. I am in a pretty safe tory seat but even here, labour are polling (electoral calculus poll of polls) at only 9% less than the tories. It's wild! And this is with a predicted 58% turnout. I truly think if everyone voted labour could actually win here. I'm most aligned with the green party policy wise but until we get a fairer voting system I know I'll never have them represent me in my area sadly.

The Dumbo bit was so relatable. I sang ‘baby mine’ to my son when he was tiny, just from memories when I was a kid. And then I decided to watch it again as an adult and I cried my eyes out 😅😅

Such a great speech about GET POLITICAL! That was my mane tesis after the war 2022 started. Katya from Russia.

I have a almost 11 month old son we tried for 2 years I made mum friends in playgroups and it’s amazing to have friends that understand but I also have a friend I’ve known since I was 7 so we’ve been friends for 20 years she’s not a mum but she’s his aunt she’s great with him and whenever we meet she knows he’ll be with me I’m so thankful for her

Really appreciate your thoughts on the need to "get political", and I agree with the comment posted prior: you would make a great local representative!