Is Your Anxiety Sabotaging Your Relationship? (Matthew Hussey)
1,014,783
Published 2021-01-09
▼
Don’t Miss Out! Subscribe to my YouTube channel now.
I post new love life advice for you every weekend.
▼
Have you ever felt insecure about something that’s happened with your partner and got yourself worked up in your mind? I have. Many times.
And when this has happened to me I know I’ve not brought up the issue in a productive way. In fact, I’ve often approached the subject in a way I later regretted.
What about you? Have you said something you wish you hadn’t? Reacted in a way you wish you could take back?
It’s a horrible feeling when we “sober up” emotionally, the cloud of angry or upset subsides, and we are left with this sinking feeling that somehow we’ve just messed it all up.
If you can relate to being the kind of person whose emotions and anxieties can be easily triggered in a relationship, this video is really going to help you.
My aim with this video is not to guarantee you never get anxious again (would you even believe me if I said that was possible?!). My aim is to ensure that even in those moments where your fears and anxieties become inflamed, you have a way of calming them, and approaching your partner in a way that brings you closer together, rather than hurting the relationship.
Let’s take back control over those emotions and put you back in the driver’s seat. And let’s learn to use our moments of friction to make our relationships even more beautiful.
P.S. Even if you feel you’ve already done the damage and this video came too late, you’re wrong! By watching this, you’ll be able to explain to your partner what happened in that moment and hit reset on that mistake, because once you have, they’ll understand you so much better.
►► FREE download: “9 Texts No Man Can Resist” → www.9texts.com/
►► FREE download: “5 Compliments to Get Him Addicted to You” → www.SayThisToHim.com/
▼ Get My Latest Dating Tips and Connect with Me… ▼
Blog → www.howtogettheguy.com/blog/
Facebook → facebook.com/CoachMatthewHussey
Instagram → www.instagram.com/thematthewhussey
Twitter → twitter.com/matthewhussey
All Comments (21)
-
Bare in mind, you can be secure. And the person you’re with can make you anxious because they’re avoidant and dismissive.
-
Having an anxious attachment style also means you have an intuition like no other. You have to try and be objective and take control of it at the same time!
-
Still sitting here with my jaw on the floor! Absolutely spot on, that is EXACTLY what I do. My mind jumps to the worst fears, thoughts, I'm not good enough, and then I get angry and go right into the silent treatment.
-
Speaking from experience, anxious attachment is a very serious issue that can take the joy out of everything. Instead of enjoying life with your partner, you attack them with irrelevant aggression, which can be tiring for them. I know how hard it is to control yourself during this. Bit relieving to know other people are also experiencing this and this is something normal
-
So true. I almost lost my amazing partner because of my “weapons”. Yes your partner can help you heal your wounds, by showing you how much they love and care for you but also by setting boundaries, sometimes putting the foot down. The best teachers are the tough ones. I’m grateful my partner was firm and didn’t let me carry on. His love made me see that it I continue acting this way, I will lose him. It motivated me to seek help, reach out for it, practice mindfulness and self care everyday. It’s so hard but it’s worth it
-
"A lot of relationships end, not because couldn't handle your wounds, but because they couldn't deal with our weapons" That is quote-worthy. <3
-
Girls, Ive being this type of person because of my past. With my New bf I was totally upfront and open about my issues in the Very beggining. I was afraid of him leave me but I had to tell him. Guess what? He didnt leave me. He supoorts me everyday. He understand why I act like this and he makes me feel Very safe with him. What I learned is: we shouldnt be afraid of communicate. Dont keep It for yourself. Do It in the Very beggining so the Guy is aware of what's happening.
-
It's never really about someone not messaging us back, but more about what gets triggered in us. Then we start feeling rejected or not good enough. And sometimes it may even have nothing to do with what that person is saying or doing, but more the story we've created. That's why it's our responsibility to communicate with our partner just like Matthew says in this video ✨ Took me years to understand this 😳
-
At the end of the day it comes down to your own value and self worth, there’s just no way to truly love someone and bring fulfilment into your relationship if you don’t love yourself
-
Self awareness/monitoring will be the skill I’m so glad I taught myself as a kid! I have an anxious attachment style and me knowing that I’m insecure and anxious, I can be more self aware and just ask myself if I’m blowing it out of proportion. I’m noting slow but steady change in mentality. Especially reduced mood swings. If you’re like me and you’re trying to be better for someone you love, good luck
-
It’s up to you to communicate your fears, anxiety and stressors but up to your partner to help you feel safe.
-
“A lot of relationships end not because the person couldn’t handle our wounds . It’s because they couldn’t handle our weapons”. So deep. ❤️ This video changed my life.
-
This is LITERALLY me! I always overthink things and see the negatives in every dating situation. Damn past bad experiences! xx
-
The most important thing will always be communication. If you’re feeling anxious about something your partner says or does communicate that and it will make everything much easier
-
I feel all of this. It's so hard. I empathize with anyone who has anxious attachment style.
-
"the more you squeeze the more it slips away"
-
Omg how are you reading my mind?! This video came at the right time.
-
Yes 😭 I low key sabotaged my last relationship because of paranoia of him leaving or cheating on me, when he didn’t really ever give me a reason to not trust 😭 but I definitely learned my lesson 🙋🏻♀️
-
Looks like fighting is a common reaction! I respond to these triggers by getting depressed and deciding to end the relationship without communication because I convinced myself that the story in my head is fact....
-
Everyone needs to read ATTACHED. It’s so valuable to understand ourselves, why we are attracted to certain types and the dynamics that play out.
