Don’t Set Your New Year’s Goals Before You Do This

I'm curious what your goals are for next year! Let me know!

I thought I was quite good at goal setting, but I just realized that "I want to feel healthier" is a 'goal' that gives me so much more opportunities than just "eat healthier / move healthier" etc. That's a bit embarassing, but also very liberating somehow.

recently I've been thinking, "I want to feel peaceful" and now i'm going to form my goals around that.

New Year's is my birthday and I HATE setting goals during then because it feels like I'm putting that much MORE pressure on myself. So I do my goal planning with steps laid out during September/October instead. I know, it's silly but it's a mental happiness for me. During the Fall season I can reflect more on what I have going on and what I need to adjust. It's before holiday shenanigans so I don't feel that pressure added into the mix. Fall is a slower time in my life, so it's a great time for me to do that reflection and self evaluation.

Speaking of goals, and (you, Jess) being 6 months pregnant as a first time mom -- it occurred to me that if right now (translation: before you have the baby) you sit down and write down your goals as a parent, you'll have a better idea of how to respond when well-meaning people come over and a) want to hold your baby and b) offer the vaguely-helpful-but-ultimately-meaningless "whatever you need, let me know" phrase If you really love to clean because it eases anxiety, they can hold the baby and get out of your way. If you really hate to clean but having clutter and unfinished tasks causes anxiety, give them a pre-printed list of "these are the tasks that will allow me to enjoy my baby" and they can do those things to ease your stress.

My local library has ordered four copies of your book!

It makes me think of Alice in Wonderland when Alice asks the Cheshire Cat what path to take, and he replies with, "That depends on where you want to go." Goals are personal, so it makes sense to try to think of how we feel when making a personal goal and keep that in mind more so than just building a habit.

I used to "set" a New Year's goal that was just something I wanted to do, not really caring if I did it. The past few years I've been setting a "theme" each year. Two years ago was Self-care. I focused on taking care of myself more. This year was "Get Out". I focused on getting out of my house and traveling more.

I usually don't set New Year's resolution because I can't keep them.

This makes me think of CGP Grey's yearly themes: a word to guide you throughout the year. It acts more as a guide for decision making throughout the year rather than a specific goal. I've found it really helpful cause it means I can adjust based on where I'm at rather than beating myself up for not being up for something.

May sound Neurotypical, but I want to feel accomplished. Not so much to accomplish particular things, but feel like I’m moving forward. I guess my goal is to set goals, measure them and evaluate if they make sense anymore. IBNU Goal #1: read your book when it arrives.

Since 2020 (ugh) I’ve set goals of doing something creative at least once a day. Sometimes it’s working on a large project, sometimes it’s repairing something around the house, sometimes it’s just mashing my keyboard into a journal. It’s been good for me!

Someone once said to me, "Goals are yardsticks for failure." I love the idea of starting with a feeling and working towards it. This is a timely video ❤ Happy new year!

Something that has helped me instead of New Year's resolutions that I'd inevitably fail is the concept of "Yearly Themes" from CGP Grey. The first year i did it i chose the "Year of Actualization," it was nice cause there wasn't ever really a fail state, but rather anything that i interpreted as "Actualization" was a valid success. That ranged from making small progress on projects to actively choosing to play a video game to relax. I had so much fun and fulfillment from yearly themes that i haven't done a New Year's resolution since

Jessica, to be honest with you, lots of people have felt tired, stressed, and worn out at the end of this year. It has been a tough year. I think a positive is that those that have achieved this year have success in a really tough year. I'm trying to bring in consistency with structured planning.

I was diagnosed today, though I've suspected for a while so I'm a long-time lurker! I'm in the UK, and there was a long wait for the assessment (a year!), so I've had a lot of time to play around with different coping strategies, so this really hits home. My goal for 2023 was to take myself less seriously - it was broad, but allowed me to ask myself in crucial moments "what would taking myself less seriously look like?" This was the first year I smashed my goals. My social anxiety has reduced dramatically, I'm more outgoing and confident, and I'm generally more at peace with making mistakes and being "human" and enjoying myself. It's been a long road, and I'm not done yet (I'm really just getting started), but now I set most of my goals this way: "If I want to embody X, what would that look like?", and it's helped so much!

As a Learning Designer whose work focuses a lot on "Backwards Design", where you take the learning outcomes the students need to achieve and work backwards from there to build the materials and assessments, I love this backwards approach that puts your desires first!

I love that you explained this. I discovered this on my own this past year. I still struggle with deadlines, though. But, the setting goals based on how I want to feel and what it looks like, was so much easier and, I'll add, is in alignment with my values.

"...Happy New Year, depending on when you're seeing this. Happy April." 😅 It's April second and I'm watching this for the first time. I feel like it's a sign.

The timing on the video is incredible! Literally just sat down a minute ago now that my toddler is napping so that I can try to goal set and get organized for a fresh approach for 2024 (having been through of course decades of “failing” at my goals that I tried to set before but still really want), knowing I need to find a new way to try to do this but not knowing where to start ❤ so glad I clicked on this video! Merry Christmas to you and your team! Also, just bought your book in my local store last week 😊🎉 so excited to start reading it now that the Christmas chaos is wearing off lol and I can brain again