10 Red Flags of the Female Covert Narcissist

This is spot on. Another flag is that they will change history, convincing you that your memory of an event is wrong; sometimes to the point that you doubt your own sanity.

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option." Mark Twain

One giant red flag is a lack of introspection. They just can’t see themselves as ever being at fault to themselves. It’s always someone or something else’s fault why they behave a certain way.

I couldn't help but break down during this video. I've experienced all of these. The worst is losing your desire to stand up for yourself just to keep the peace.

Another flag: Effortless dishonesty. Zero internal conflict

Lack of showing gratitude is a big one. Not hearing the simple phrase "thank you" from a covert narcissist is a massive red flag.

Getting out of one of these relationships was one of the most emotionally painful things I've been through. A year later, I have healed and can watch these videos every once in a while and smile. I know now that walking away from her was the best decision I could have made. It must be so exhausting living with NPD, never being happy, always having to be right, the best looking etc. Time is their only true fear in life as their youthfulness fades away with every empty relationship. A never ending cycle that is always someone else's fault.

Things that struck me in addition to what has been said here: 1) She called others narcissists. 2) She can't stand being criticised. 3) One cannot clarify misunderstandings. 4) One cannot establish genuine emotional closeness. 5) If you allude to something, it was just a joke. 6) She doesn't stick to agreements. 7) She ist self-righteous - and tells the world and me how sincere and good she is. 8) She is vain - even if she says, that she is so relaxed, easy going and down to earth. 9) She doesn't always tell the truth.

The female narcissist will always always always play the victim. In every disagreement she will be the victim - making you feel like you crossed some line etc… just wild. Thank you for putting this out there - people need to know.

Another thing to look out for is the absence of female friends. A woman who can’t form friendships with other women is trouble. I know from experience!

I'm shaking... you've pinpointed what I've suspected. I'll be looking for help to gain control of my life again. Thank you.

These flags are spot on! Seven years ago I walked away from a five year relationship that was horribly emotionally, verbally (and physically at times) abusive. I don't know why YouTube recommended I watch these videos on female narcissists but they've really helped me understand what I went through. From 23-27 I was with someone who was 21 years older than I am, and at the time I was too naïve to see the red flags. The first year was pretty good except for a couple of weird incidents. The first big one that I can recall was about a month in and I went to the guitar store with my roommate while she went to the grocery store (which I didn't even know at the time). She was unreasonably mad at me for not being around to help her carry in the groceries and ghosted me for two days while I wondered what I did wrong and I scrambled to try to make things better. We weren't even living together at the time and I wasn't spending all of my time at her house so I didn't think I had to be around for groceries yet. That's just the first of many situations. She repeatedly accused me of cheating, hacked into my phone to see who I was texting all the while she was doing the same as I found out later (but denied it when I brought it up). She refused to let me get a job so she could keep me under financial dependence and I finally was able to convince her to let me go back to school and get a job. The first opportunity I could move out, I did. I just moved everything out one day without telling her while she was convinced that I was cheating on her. Sorry for the long post but I haven't really spoken a lot about it in seven years so it's good to get it all out. I'm now married and quite successful and my wife is the complete opposite and I couldn't be more grateful.

walking on eggshells, Hollow eyes, can't let you speak one sentence without interrupting, mrs know it all, the unaknowledged super talent, the big mouthed diva, etc

"When someone shows you who they really are, believe them the first time . . ." Maya Angelou

It breaks my heart how accurate this is. If this video had been released 7 years ago it wouldve saved me from a mountain of suffering.

I've been in such a relationship for 5 weeks only. After she started pushing me away and complaining about her bad experience, I broke up with her. Now, I recognize all 10 flags mentioned in the video.

Another red flag is when they have an overly negative opinion of someone you know to be a good person. My ex used to say that my Dad was manipulative. Obviously I have known my dad my whole life, he has only ever been a gentle kind person, he would never manipulate someone. If your partner starts describing people you know to be nice as being bad people, be careful.

You described my marriage of nearly 30yrs. She passed away about three years ago, and through content like yours here, I am starting to get my sense of self and identity back. Thank you for recognizing the abuse that men face from the female narcissist.

These red flags are absolutely spot on. I just left a gaslit relationship run by a female covert narcissist certified in social work and adept at emotional psychology. She really knew the ropes. Easily could have written "How To Be A Master At Narcissistic Gaslighting." It's a dangerous situation to be in. If you're in one of those relationships, leave now.

This is ridiculous... I have no words. I can't even... I just want to thank you. You are helping me at the end of my grieving. I'm 28 years old, have been through breakups before, and NEVER has a woman made me so confused and messed up in the ways this one did. I felt used, exposed, betrayed by my own self and mind, and in TWO MONTHS I couldn't handle it anymore and we both left each other. It's been two months since then, she did tried to reach out sending me a song saying it reminded her of me and "i hope you're ok! kisses" also putting me back on her close friends and posting stories there with stuff like "don't let a good love leave cause you're confused" Anyways... I silenced her, i don't wanna hear from her, I'm done talking about what i've been through with this person, and EVERYTHING, i mean... EVERY SINGLE THING on your narc content is spot on. Thank you again. Now i know what happened to me and how i was caught, being through a hard time financially and emotionally and getting to attached to this person in the wrong ways. God bless you, Lisa.