Are You Gaslighting Yourself? 4 Important Signs to Watch Out For

“We will deplete ourselves to help others regulate their emotions.” This has been my exact experience for my entire adult life. Just recently diagnosed Audhd at age 47. Whew! Thank you for saying this. I feel less alone.

"you are not responsible for regulating other people's emotions!" YESSS THANK YOU!

I think that being gaslight by my family of origin taught me to gaslight myself! This is a huge reason that, finally after my recent diagnosis, I gave up on all the gaslighting! I no longer accept it from ANYONE, including myself!

You are not alone in that. We attract people with narcissistic traits, people who do not know how to regulate themselves and we adopt the role of the caregiver. They drain us emotionally and psychologically and then, they discard us and replace us. Yes, we are naïve because we think everyone always has the same good intentions we have, and we end up taken advantage of. I love your channel because you describe the autistic experience so well. It gives me comfort and makes me feel understood and less lonely. Thank you.

I used to gaslight myself all the time prior to my diagnosis. Finding out I'm autistic helped me give myself permission to experience and feel things the way I do. Great topic! 💞

The amount of self-gaslighting that I got from therapy is mind numbing. I'm trying to balance giving a new therapist a chance with not giving too much of a chance rn but I can't trust my own judgment.

I’ve always assumed I was wrong, I always just Dealt with (and negated) my sensory issues, I’ve always figured I remembered it wrong, I’ve usually always assumed I’m the one misunderstanding things….🥺 Getting my AuADHD diagnosis and therapy was life-changing, I’m learning to validate myself, my needs, my views, and to believe in myself and set boundaries. It’s a lot to untangle, but it’s sooooo worth it!!

The term comes from the 1944 film “Gaslight” where the husband was trying to convince his wife that she was crazy. The gaslights would flicker when he was in the attic trying to manipulate her mind. It’s a terrific film.

I didn’t realize at the time, but before I knew that I was autistic, I was gaslighting myself probably every single day. Now that I’ve been able to drop, at least most of the masks, more are still coming off every day, I have felt so much more empowered to just be the raw and pure me.

Dealt with gaslighting for far too long in a toxic relationship. At all costs, avoid people with NPD!!! Especially for empaths; we are beacons for them. Study the red flags, and take your time getting to know a person. We are already at terrible odds without the additional trauma.

Naive is the proper word for it. I have struggled with that my entire life. For the most part, I am an open book. I share my life freely and openly, and honestly. As a result, I do not often comprehend the fact that I am different, and that other people are not like me. I take everyone at face value, and often fail to see what is lurking under the surface. I cannot see when someone is being dishonest with me, and that has allowed people to take advantage of me over and over again. Not knowing that I was Autistic, my friends would actually tease me about it. One of them would tell me a crazy story, and get me to believe it. They would often let it go for weeks before they let me in on the joke. At the end of the day, I only see what people show me, and that makes life much more complicated than it should be sometimes.

I was diagnosed as AuDHD at age 40. For years I got these "see what you made me do?!" reactions from my spouse, which I found demeaning and hurtful - but rationalized as being my fault. What you talk about here about not being responsible for other people's reactions or emotions is so true and so important for some of us to hear. We have now decided to part ways and our relationship became instantly better when we agreed to focus on our kid's well-being rather than on 'fixing' each other.

I love what Gabor Mate says about not being responsible for others emotions, that you may have triggered someone, but they're the ones with the explosives inside.

I literally live in my own gaslit world. It causes so many issues for me and my relationships.

Wow, this totally describes a conversation I had with my husband just yesterday. My references were so circular that it did feel like I was gas lighting myself. Luckily, he helped me to see the reality of the situation and quickly let go of the untruthful impression that caused me to be second guessing my self and the situation.

One of the most important things I’ve learned is that I’m not totally responsible for others’ feelings. I’m a smart and kind person. I’m not an idiot so I know, usually, when I’ve made a mistake and I’m quick to resolve any issue. However, when it comes to me, no one gives me the benefit of the doubt. I’ve noticed that others approach me with distrust and paranoia. I tell them the truth and over and over again, they tell me I’m wrong. I’m done trying to figure them out. In my experience, no one gives an actual F about why I feel what I feel but I care so much about everyone. I am the exemplar of fawning. But I’m done. I’m 44 and only now, I understand how much that’s contributed to my own self-imposed misery.

My mother's gaslighting tried to push me to gaslight myself, and in some ways I certainly did earlier in life. It has been hugely limiting in life. As I've aged, I do it much less or completely reject it but the damage was done a couple decades ago. Now gaslighting is something I try to avoid being around in any context whatsoever.

5:17 i hadn't thought of it about being super empathetic as one of the things that can attract disordered people... explains a lot...

I definitely gaslight myself. It’s not because of doubt though. It’s because of self limiting and self restricting. I tell myself, it could’ve been worse. It’s not that bad. You’re not allowed to feel that way. You shouldn’t feel that way. Not only am I autistic, but I am totally blind, and have complex PTSD.

Right, people tell me I’m over-reacting/over sensitive. I’m learning to just stay quiet as much as I can because how I express myself isn’t welcome.