Are you using submissive language?
Publicado 2019-05-31
Continue to change your behaviour and life by understanding and changing the way you speak by watching these videos next:
1. STOP SOUNDING WEAK: • STOP SOUNDING WEAK!
2. Toxic Language & Violent Communication: • Toxic Language & Violent Communication
3. Passive-Aggressive Language: • Passive-Aggressive Language
TRANSCRIPT
Hey, everyone. In today's lesson we're looking at submissive language. "Submissive language" is when you speak in a way that makes you really, really small and not important, and the person to whom you're speaking is all so special and so amazing, and much more important than you.
An example of a character who uses submissive language is Dobby the House-Elf. Dobby the House-Elf is in all the Harry Potter films. Here is one of Dobby's quotes, and this is from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. "Dobby is a free house-elf and he can obey anyone he likes, and Dobby will do whatever Harry Potter wants him to do!"
So, what's interesting about this quote in terms of submissive language is: "Dobby is a free house-elf", and the thing about the house-elves in Harry Potter is they are like the slaves of some of the wizards; the bad kind of wizards in Harry Potter have house-elves as slaves and they do everything for them. But Dobby is a house-elf who won his... Who considers himself to be free; but yet, if we look at his language, he says: "He can obey anyone". When you obey someone, it means you do what they tell you. So, he's free; but yet, he obeys anyone. So it's a... It's a contradiction.
"And Dobby will do whatever Harry Potter wants him to do". So, although he's a free house-elf now, I guess Dobby hasn't changed that much because he's happy to do whatever Harry Potter wants him to do, because Dobby is very grateful to Harry Potter and he respects him very much, so we see it in the language that he uses.
So, most of us, we aren't going to use submissive language in such an obvious way like Dobby the House-Elf, but there might be signs of it in our speech, and that's what we're going to look at in this lesson. I'm going to give lots of examples where, without realizing it, we might speak a little bit like Dobby the House-Elf.
Okay, first, before we get there, I want to talk about what this kind of language shows about us as a person. Some of it's good, and in some situations we might look at it as... We might see it as a negative thing in some situations. It might be good for us sometimes, but if we use it too much and we make ourselves small in that situation, maybe it's not helpful for us.
So, first of all, when we talk in this way, sometimes it has the appearance of being very polite language. And that's good in a way-isn't it?-because it seems that we have good manners, and we are... We are a charming person because we're being very polite. But then if we go too polite, sometimes it doesn't seem that genuine or authentic, perhaps. So, when we use this kind of language as well, it shows that we're considerate people; we're people that think about the needs of others first. The people we like especially, we make them very, very important and we care about what they think. So, this shows that we think of other people and not just of ourselves. This kind of language also shows that we're conscientious people. It means that we... We have a... We care what other people think of us, and we want other people to think that we're kind of people, and good people, and helpful people.
And then the next thing this kind of language shows about us is low status. That's another way of saying: "Oh, I'm... I'm not very important; you're more important than I am." Or: "You're more important than I will ever be." So it's not very helpful to use that kind of speech in many life situations, for example, in many jobs; but then on the other hand, in some jobs if you have a big boss, your big boss is probably really happy if you make yourself small and look up to them. So it really depends on... On the job that you do. […]
Todos los comentarios (21)
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Dobby is glad with this lesson , thanks .
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This is fascinating. I’m an American-born speaker who works for a very large international company. I try very hard to be sensitive when writing to colleagues in other countries, especially in non-Western offices. I use phrases like: “thank you for you kind email,” which I wouldn’t typically use with American colleagues. I also try to be more humble in my writing. I think it has worked well for me as I have noted non-Western correspondents will also use this humble tone. With Americans, I find it’s more acceptable to be direct and less honorific. Using a more formal tone with Americans is often interpreted as being pompous (or so I have been told, lol).
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She is not only teaching English. She is also teaching how to be strong with such a soft heart. I wish i were a friend of her. Love you Dobby, Love you Jade❤
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Thank you, Jane! It has a psychological aspect. What about being polite? What is being polite without making yourself small?
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this video change my mind about how I am raising my son. It is amazing how powerful words can be. Thank you so much!
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Thanks a lot, Jade. I'm from Brazil and planning to study in the UK and not just English, you're teaching culture. Congratulations on the amazing job done here on the channel
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A real eye opener and using the Dobby character to explain things is so smart cause relatable. Thank you Jade. I have been watching your Videos and keep on learning so much about using english language and understanding the meaning behind the words depending on situation . I am still learning and thanks to you I am loving it. All the best from switzerland.
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Thanks Jade, this topic lesson is something i need. Your way to teach so great. Love u so much
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I love this lesson, especially the part with rarely-used (at least by me) words like reverence, deferential, conscientious. They are so rare that sometimes it is even difficult to guess proper pronunciation (esp. accent). More of those please!
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I've seen 3 videos from you... And find you really amazing!. Your content is retry complete in several senses. I love you!
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Thank you so much JADE ‘ you’re amazing teacher indeed
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Hi Jade, Thank you so much for your teaching. You do help me understand cultural aspects of English.
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It's been ages to see Jade. She has a beautiful tone and skill to teach what she's gonna tell!
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Hi, Jade! Thank you for making this awesome video. To be honest, I use this kind of language quite a lot in everyday life. I never used Sir/Madam/Miss when I called the teacher, but I always said their middle names instead.
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Thanks for this Jade and perhaps let us not forget that “assertive” does not necessarily mean dominant, dominant means dominant )) Assertive in some definition means confident but still active listening. In English culture, it is considered to be polite to ask these questions and often people who don't ask these questions are considered to be rude. I agree with the left-hand side of your board polite, considerate, conscientious, and “respectful” not deferential . If you go to an English house and don't ask for somebody's permission to use their loo they're going to consider you very impolite )) A very good friend of mine, who is a communication expert, made his first million by the time he was 22 (not everyone's success criteria ..I would add ) puts his success down to being very polite with people. I would perhaps change the “permission to breath” section into polite expressions. Let's not stop people using these polite expressions but understand that subservience with these expressions is just that …….subservience….?
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I like the way you imitate Dobby, you can make a great cartoon character voice :)
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I always love this channel.She is a great teacher.I really really like the way she speaks English although I cannot imitate her.
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Great video Jade you are awesome!
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The Real politeness is among those who respect himself or herself and the others. You are so precious, and others are precious as much. Here comes respect, and politeness. right? :)
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Many thanks, Jade. You are amazing
