WHAT'S WRONG WITH SUGA?! | Rapper Reacts to Agust D - 'Amygdala' (FIRST REACTION)

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During his trainee days, Suga worked as a delivery man and one day during a delivery, he got hit by a vehicle which left him with a broken shoulder. He recalled suddenly seeing I believe the front tire right next to his head.

But he couldn’t tell anybody at the company or even the group because he feared that he would get kicked out. So he told them that he just fell down the stairs and for so many years after, he had to suffer a broken shoulder; I think he mentioned recently that he always took pain medication every show because of it. He didn’t get surgery to fix his shoulder until late 2020-early 2021.

Suga then said that he actually ended up telling the company at some point and they asked him why didn’t he tell them earlier, they could’ve helped him.

If I’m getting some details incorrect, anyones free to correct me.

Thank you so much for this one, Knox... Army will never forget your hugs and your open mind to talk about mental health!!!

Amygdala, Daechwita and Haegum are the trilogy that Yoongi has put together throughout his life, personal and professionally speaking. Having everything hang out. The three personas in him. His problems with depression. His anger of not being accepted as a rapper for being an idol. You have him here causing that scar, also trying to save himself (the self that turns into the mad emperor), the fact that he goes killing a part of himself in every video and they're actually the more healed ones...you can see that by the scar healing through the videos. In Haegum, the one who doesn't have the scar is the one who finally survives.

IT's a masterpiece bearing his soul to all of us but also painful and triggering to watch....I'm glad that he was able to pull through all of this and raise victorious. And comfortable enough to share it with all of us.

Finally! Someone, who knows about the correlation between Amygdala and Hippocampus! The Amygdala is also called the "hot memory" it stores the memorys only on an emotional level. Therefore the Amygdala reacts before the consciousness even starts and acts on these emotional memories. The Hippocampus is also called the "cold memory" and stores the facts to the emotions, such as "when" "where" "what". If both come together, the amygdala is in the position to react properly after the initial scare, because it can sort the emotions to specific events. The brain of a traumatized person works different... The way between Amygdala and Hippocampus is blocked, so when the amygdala sends the signal to the hippocampus, that something is happening, the hippocampus can't be reached and the info comes back unedited and causes reactions, that aren't approciate in specific situations, because the amygdala can only work with the trauma memory, not with things, that actually happening right now. Mostly it ends in Panic attacks, Flasbacks etc.
I think, the biggest trauma here is yoongis incident where he crushed his shoulder and had to fear, to lose everything he worked so hard for. Practically losing his life, because he feels like without his music he is nothing.
Sadly there is no erasing of memories. The only way is, to work thru the traumas and sort them in correctly, emotionally (amygdala) and chronologically (hippocampus), to repair the way, the nerv cord between them both and let the past rest.
Im not an english speaker, so i hope my writing is understandable...

Interesting bits about SUGA #1
There was a time when BTS was handed by their staff w/ their baby/childhood pictures & share something, Yoongi/SUGA's picture is when his family were on the beach. He shared that he nearly drowned and was saved by his father and he was so scared, so Jimin asked, "Is that the reason why you never dive in the water with us?" but Yoongi said, "No, I just don't feel like it.". BUT, I do think what Jimin said was right, he said he hates water, and it shows he has aversion to it tho he will still join some of BTS' water activities but not the extreme ones. Everytime trauma/fear is a topic, it's like an instinct to make water an example (also he said he can't watch horror movies, just an endearing info abt him, the Run BTS zombie & horror VR episodes will make you see it). Seeing yoongi not using a stuntman for the drowning scene in Haegeum makes me happy coz that means he's fine with water tho even tho he hates it.
I'm sharing this because I see Yoongi as someone who can't let go of things easily... Yoongi can't let go of his fears, anger, grudge, regret easily just like how he holds on to things so much (he's both extreme both ways, light to dark w/c we can really see in his personality and music, (also his beats from school/predebut days w/c he made it into OT7 songs like for songs like Tomorrow, JUMP, etc. w/c he was the main producer & songwriter)... we saw him not long ago posting a selfie wearing his favorite grey beanie, fave FG T-shirt under his fave red plaid shirt w/c are all his clothes he often wear since years ago, and the tibetan dzi bead necklace his mother gave him before.. one of his many endearing traits is when he likes a piece of clothing or accessory he will wear it all the time for so long (currently, he has this cheetah print fur bucket hat) then will probably appear again in the future just like his other things... also ofc, BTS... there was an interview, Q: Dream? his answer, "being BTS for a long time", Q: BTS? his answer, "my entire life", Q: Future? his answer "BTS" ... his demeanor is often seen as "indifferent", "doesn't care" most of the time but he's one hell of a sentimental person..

Having rehabbed many serious shoulder surgeries and injuries as a therapist I can say that they were the most painful cases of joint injury… really horrible pain. Suga would have suffered that type of pain from about 2012 til 2020…. And chronic pathways in the brain, unlike acute pain, reach into the amygdala causing mental suffering and depression.. Suga already had suffered depression and i can’t imagine the the mental state he would have been in… it is a testament to his strength and determination that he not only survived it but spent those years creating the music that he did….

He wanted a very personal song. His accident happened during trainee days. He lied at first but finally told the company. A few of the members had not idea until he later released The Last. He didn't have surgery until 2020. Both in Amygdala & The Last he mentions/hints mental health issues he experienced. Amygdala is mostly hints but in The Last it mentions his parents going with psychiatric ward with him & more.

With his D-Day album it's worth watching or reading his interviews about it. "BTS saved me" isn't an exaggerated comment for some. They have a way of reaching people. These personal songs they (especially Suga) release really do help some people.

My take on the almonds.
1. Amygdala in latin means almond, in greek it was ἀμυγδάλη (amugdálē), as these two clusters of nuclei in the brain have the shape and size of almonds they were named amygdala.
2. in the book Almond the boy's mother gives him almonds to eat because she thought it would help him develop his amygdala, finally letting him feel things.
3. The Last - Agust D, here Yoongi mentions that he went to a psychiatrist back when he was around 18, he assisted with his parents, the doctor in that track asks "have you ever been (censored)?" (we infer that he refers to being su!cidal, or if he has thought of hurting himself or others, bcs if you have any experience with mental health professionals this is one of the first things they ask you), he says "I answer without any hesitation that I have". Once you say these words to a psychiatrist, they usually prescribe you medication. So the pills that you see in the MV are a reference to that.

Now, why use the pills and almonds interchangably? Because while the almonds in "Almond" were used to try and make the boy feel something, pills are usually used to regulate your emotions and make you feel less, but also, as amygdala means almond, we can also take it to mean that Yoongi is consuming "amygdala" after "amygdala" trying to try and fix his own which is hyperactive.

The song destroyed me, but the MV completely shattered me. I've had a rough life, Yoongi is the one who I relate to the most because of it, he, in some way or another, always manages to heal a part of me with every album, song he makes.

This is a great break down! Yoongi wrote this song during the making of one of their travel shows. He & Namjoon were reading a book “Almond” by Sohn Won-pyung. It is about a young man who has an under-developed amygdala. His mother feeds him almonds as an attempt to make his amygdala grow because it is almond shaped. Yoongi is eating almonds in the mv.

In his last concert when he sang this song, he ended up opening the door and saying goodbye to his fans because he is going to serve in the military for two years. that was a very emotional moment for all fans that support him.

Yoongi had an accident while working (delivering food) while he was a trainee. He got hit and his shoulder was pretty messed up because of it. He never got it fully treated and even avoided telling bighit in fear of getting booted off the group. He only recently got surgery for it in 2020.

Seeing how Yoongi was becoming after his shoulder surgery and therapy, he slowly began to get brighter, bolder, and confident, proactively wanting to do many things contrary to the lethargic moments he had before... he's still a few-words, reserved kinda guy, and he still have his pretty laid-back demeanor like he used to before but you know you can tell & feel the difference in him... his fiery spirit before feels like it's a desperate fire blazing until it'll run out squeezing every bit of what he have, but now it's a blazing fire that continuously and passionately burns to do a lot of things... I'M VERY PROUD OF HIM... I hope he knows how much I'm grateful for his music and existence.

It's not a song it's his story....Yoongi is a genius...this song made me cry so hard,even without lyrics I felt emotional & after watching Mv with lyrics hitting really hard....I cried more after watching this MV....it's really painful to watch....that accident is his past accident, during his training day he worked as delivery boy & he faced an accident which injured his shoulder, he didn't tell anyone about this as he thought company will kick him out & after 9 years he get surgery. This whole MV showing his past , his depression, his anxiety, his suicidal thoughts, his pain , his accident everything....this song is enough to make me feel my own reflection...I can feel pain & emotions in my heart....

I’m amazed how Suga can tell such a deep rooted personal story in under 4 minutes. He’s truly a master at his craft!

Just realised something. In daechwita he says ‘I ain’t no weak pill popper like you’ and throughout the trilogy he plays two different characters. In this mv, he’s the one popping pills. So in the daechwita music video when we all thought he was roasting rappers and the haters, he was actually judging his own past actions😭

he was dealing with these personal issues and as if that's not enough he was/is still dealing with racism and just so much hate. there are people literally making fun of him because he got emotional when he sang this song on stage. it's unbelievable how bts members manage to not let the hate change their personalities or their passion for music and making art. i have endless respect and love for them.

Honestly I've loved being part of Yoongi's journey from when he started to now I feel really proud of all that his done and become❤

It’s so profound how it’s the younger him (before suffering the accident) is trying to set the older him free. I get chills every time I see it.

For long term fans, this one hits differently and way more emotionally. Your points are amazing as always too!