Losing my grandpa, getting a “mommy makeover” & getting my first period in 5 years | Ep. 58

I lost my 21 year old son Jordan nearly 17 months ago from a catastrophic stroke due to his kidney disease. What I've been forced to learn along my path of grief is this.. Grief is heavy, not just emotionally, but physically. Grief does not care if you are walking down the grocery store aisle when you spot a bottle of hot sauce your son would have loved, or if you are filming a podcast. It will show up when it wants, and you have no choice but to let it come. Grief hurts, it literally makes your body hurt. I now understand where the phrase "broken heart" comes from, because my heart literally feels broken. I remember when we left the hospital, all I wanted was for someone to tell me how long this pain would last, like if there was this finite amount of time, and someone could give me a timeframe, then maybe I could survive what felt insurmountably unsurviveable. But grief isn't a period, it's a comma. It's forever. I was so deep into my grief, that when my big Sissy died 7 weeks later, it didn't even register. There could be no more or "bigger grief". It was grief upon deep grief..Give yourself grace and be patient with yourself. When grief visits, sit with it and let it surround you, and wait for the tidal wave to recede-you feel as if you are drowning-but eventually the waves push you just a tiny bit closer to an outreached hand on the shore. So much love to you ❤️‍🩹

Grief is so weird… you can be at peace with someone’s passing but still be sad and wish they were here still!

You gotta make Griffin a papa pillow. My son was about the same age as Griffin when my papa passed and we made him a papa pillow from one of his shirts. He is 11 and sleeps with that pillow every night

Abby, you should have a podcast (or a do a special episode every month) and have your book club were you review/comment books with friends !

Abby I am so sorry for your loss ❤️ I also don’t think you should get a mummy make over 1. They are actually very dangerous 2. It shows your boys to love yourself the way you are and 3. Not once have I EVER looked at you and gone “eww she needs a makeover” I always though “I’m so jealous of Abby she has just pooped out 2 babies recently and looks great!” I think you are genuinely gorgeous you don’t need one!! ❤️❤️

Abby do not apologize for your tears my grandpa passed away Nov 14th 2014 to lung cancer two weeks after he was diagnosed . He was one of my father figures I lived with him even almost 10 years later I cry and choke up grief comes up unexpectedly and goes in ways there's beauty and also grit much love I know you don't read the comments but your amazing don't feel bad for showing your emotion ❤❤❤❤

abbeyyy give yourself time! xxxxxxxxx i almost got a tummy tuck 9 months after my second and i was too nervous so i thought id wait and now im soooooo glad i did and i have 3 kids now and my tummy is sooooooooooooo much tighter after a few years! give it time you beautiful mama <3

This is making me cry. I lost my grandfather not that long ago, and this is really relatable 😢 Glad your doing a bit better

Abby, grief comes in waves, you can be fine and still have these moments sometimes where it hurts extra and you’re more emotional. Take care. 17:16

I just lost my pappy as well to cancer we found out Black Friday and he passed January 6th. The best man, listening to you talk about your grandpa just makes me cry. I laid in bed last night just crying knowing I won’t ever hear him say “how are you girl, give me a hug”.

In the Jewish tradition when someone has passed away, the family makes something that called “shiva”. That means that for seven days after the funeral family friends and people who cared for the deceased one come to the family home to visit and talk about them, from the morning up till the night. It makes the change being around people in those times. Sending a big hug Abby.

Abby are you on Goodreads?!? I’d love to follow you. Everyone who’s totally here for Abby’s book channel like this comment 😂😂😂

This episode is so tender! I lost my Grandma recently and it is so comforting to see that other people grieve too! You guys are amazing!!

Abby I feel exactly how you do about your grandparents. I’m the exact same way with mine. My grandfather unexpectedly passed end of February last year. I was so so close to him, lived with them for multiple years. It’s over a year later and while the grief is still there, I look back on the times with him with a huge smile. I’ll be donating to March of Dimes in honor of your grandfather. Thank you for being so open about your grief. Praying for you and your family during this difficult time.

My heart goes out Abby and her family and thank you to Abby’s grandfather for helping shape her into the person see on this podcast today.❤️

I lost my dad in ‘22 and he’s not a twin but his brothers look very similar to him. It was hard to look at my uncles without losing it. I wish it would have been comforting to see and hear them.

I can relate to Abby’s grandpa because my grandpa on my passed out along time ago. I’m deeply grateful sorry for your loss. I always say epiphany to my family, so thank you Matt for bringing that up.

I’m so sorry for your loss Abby. Your love for your grandpa is huge! I’m crying during this episode.

Abby thank you so much for sharing about your grandpa! My husband 25 very recently just lost his only grandpa in a very similar situation. We also had kept quiet about the loss. It just shows you never know what people are going through. I am so so sorry for your loss. I also appreciate how you talked about seeing his twin after his passing. Although my husband’s grandpa wasn’t a twin his brother is very similar and it was the most wild experience when we walking into his house and saw his brother in his place. Thank you for bringing to light all of the emotions and how grief isn’t linear it is a roller coaster. I love how real and open y’all are about your life. I love love love y’all’s podcast!

Praying for you and your family. lost my bestie grandpa in 1998. I still can’t grasp that he has passed. Sometimes I feel sad. Sometimes it’s an unbearable pain. Oftentimes it’s just so much joy. Remembering the persons everything is fun to talk about with the family. I still love stopping and smelling Vicks or laughing with my family helps. I still have such incredibly bad days. The love of grandparents is unmatched. ❤