living with depression is exhausting

Depression is like treading water. Giving a long enough time span, you eventually drown unless you get help. The worst part is being on dry land and feeling safe, but realizing that it's temporary.

this hits really close to home 😢 i always felt it like there’s a canyon between wanting, planning to do things vs the mental ability to actually doing the thing. on good days, the canyon is only as wide a fingernail, on bad days, it’s as wide as the grand canyons

I heard an analogy once about depression being like a hotel hairdryer. When it gets overused, it just turns off. Not because the hairdryer is broken, but it's a built-in mechanism to protect it from overheating. I think that's why anxiety and depression tend to go hand in hand. Think of thoughts as the hairdryer working on normal speed, and then think of all of those heavy, exhausting, overload of thoughts as the blowdrier on high mode all day long. Your brain is going to switch to the cool setting, or turn off completely (depression) to protect it! That mindshift has been helpful for me. Some people's hairdryers overheat more often than others, because well, some people's hairdryers are being used all day long, on overload. Know that we live in a world that expects our hairdryers to run on overheating mode constantly, it's easy to feel like our hairdryer is busted, it's not, it's simply recharging. ❤

Reese, trying is enough. So much of the time, those with depression cannot continue the fight but trying, its enough. I recently went to my college counselor and talked about having similar feelings, that I didn’t know what I was getting out of bed for anymore but she reminded me that I have a life out there for me and so many more years ahead to live it. We talked about taking small steps. I started with goals like “get out of bed” and “brush teeth” and moved onto “journal” or “go outside” and as I continued completing those small goals, I felt a little bit better everyday and if I had a day I didn’t, I told myself that I would try again tomorrow. Trying is enough❤.

I can relate to literally everything you mentioned in this video. It’s so sad to think that so many people are feeling this way as well, yet we all feel so alone in our experiences. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one

I’m a huge fan of your videos, and as someone who is going through a depressive episode, I enjoy your authenticity. I don’t tune in for uplifting content only. I wonder if you could make a video to show what it’s like living with depression. Trying new things and being real about how you feel. Like even just trying to leave the house and sit at a coffee shop. Be real about feeling apathetic. Disprove there is a simple fix. I think it would be validating for others who understand your struggle. Ignore the people who can’t relate. The others need you 😊❤️

feeling numb and empty is truly one of the worst feelings in the world. you are not alone, reese. keep going ❤️

This is so relatable. My physical health declined and the depression followed. I’m about to start failing grad school because I can’t drag myself to do h.w. for 2 online classes. It’s so frustrating because I used to be working full time and doing grad school full time. Now I can’t just do 2 basic classes? It makes me feel so useless and lazy. But I try and I just can’t get myself to do anything. Thank you for posting this. It helps a little.

The worst thing that could happen to anyone is Loneliness and mental health issues. You are alive, yet you are not living, it is extremely exhausting. There'll be all kinds of people around us and some of them may understand our situation and some can't/won't. we are often labelled, termed, misunderstood or made fun of. It only brings one even more down. Why can't society/educational institutions/orgs make it a point to bring awareness about mental health. Ever since, I have been hit with mental health I always make it a point to whomever I'm interacting with to bring basic awareness about mental health and it's consequences. Life can be HARD but for individuals like us dealing with mental health is like carrying our own GHOST with us and fighting with it every single second of our lives. It's been 5 long years that I've battled with mental health. I recently lost my Dad, what more worse could happen to me! BE KIND! Love

The worst part about living with mental illness is that it just never goes away. There's ebbs and flows but the constant cycle of just knowing it'll always be there in some capacity is truly exhausting, so I just want you to know I feel you!! <3 It takes a lot of vulnerability to share stuff like this but I think it makes everyone whose in the same boat feel less alone. Whenever I'm really suffering with MH I try to remind myself of my favourite quote from Animal Crossing; "And remember, bad times, are just times that are bad." They may be long, and it may be really hard, but eventually there will be good times too. Just keep going and remind yourself that you're doing something amazing in the face of difficulty by keeping yourself afloat!! <3

I can TOTALLY relate. When I was younger, I used to be known as the girl who was always writing. I constantly had paper and pen with me at all times because, for me, writing was like breathing. It just happened. It was my therapy. Then, one day, I noticed that the stories that used to constantly live in my head were showing up less and less until they just stopped showing up at all. This passion that I used to define myself was gone. The one thing I actually liked about myself taken away by the very mind that gave me all those stories to begin with. People just kept telling me to write anyway, but they could not understand. It wasn't that I couldn't write, that would be bad enough. It was that I was battling this part of me that was still desperate to tell those stories with this new side that couldn't care less if we ever wrote again. This new side just keeps erecting more and more walls until you just feel numb to pretty much anything that used to bring you any joy at all. The empty, numb feeling is what people who don't have depression will never understand. It's so much more than just being sad. It's being sad and wanting to do something, anything about it, but you are locked behind all these doors you no longer have the keys to open and free yourself. It's mourning the person you used to be and hating this new person you have become because it's not who you feel deep down inside. That is what makes depression so tiring, hard, and absolutely frightening - the thought that one day you will just not have the energy and strength to keep fighting. I have a tattoo that says, "Because it's not the win, it's the fight." I will never beat depression. I am resigned to that. But I refuse to stop fighting. 🥊🥋🤺

Reese, you are so seen, heard, and loved by your audience. Depression is really, really tough. It doesn’t make sense to people who haven’t experienced it, because it seems like it should be easy to just make yourself do things, and it’s so hard to grasp how doing absolutely nothing can be so exhausting. It’s the mental weight of it all, and I think you explained it so well. Thank you for being so candid and open about your experience and allowing your audience to see that they aren’t alone. You are not alone just as we are not alone. Your experience is so valid and I hope you know how much you are valued in this world. You got this, bestie ✨

Take your time Reese! I know you mentioned Youtube is your income but try to do something each day to take care of yourself. Anything like getting out of bed at all or hygiene or eating or drinking water. I KNOW you are trying. I SEE that you are trying and I admire you. I feel for you. I relate to you. Yes, other people may be in tough situations, but that doesn’t mean that your struggles are less than. You matter. Your struggles matter. Your mental health matters. I know I’m just someone on the internet but I am so proud of you for continuing to try and trying out new meds and going through this to try and get better. It IS exhausting. You are trying. Every day you are trying. And that is incredible. Something that helped me is a gene test that told me specifically what meds would work for my genes. I know that I can be pricy if insurance doesn’t cover it or even if it does, it’s still a bit out of pocket, but that is quite literally what got me on the med I am on now and what got me out of it. I’m not sure how it would go with your diagnosis but it is definitely something worth looking into, especially because it is gene specific. I wish you luck with this new med, Reese. It’s not about the amount of tries it takes, just that you’re trying at all.

Some time last year it occurred to me that I am not several people. Meaning, I’m not the person everyone said I was. I’m not the person I thought I was. I’m not the person I could have been. There are times when I am so unhappy with where I’ve taken my life, and other times where I think, “I’m glad it’s worked out this way.” I’m sorry that your episodes are getting more frequent. I hope for you that just as you look back on the person you used to be, in the future you can look back and say “I’m glad I made it to this point. We made it out all right.” I think we all appreciate your realness. I hope you know that content like this is doing exactly what you hope it will: making people feel less alone. Sometimes we need to have depressing conversations to help heal ourselves a little. Even if you don’t feel like it, you’re doing a great job, Reese. We love you ❤

i can’t tell you how much i needed this. the thing with depression is that i comes with a sense of isolation, and hearing you talk about how you feel made me feel like, i don’t know, it made me feel like i could be okay with not being okay, because i’m not alone. thank you so much

Hi Reese. I stumbled upon this video not knowing who you are, was just searching for mental health based videos from anyone or any organization to learn more about my Major Depressive Disorder diagnosis. This is one of the first times I've ever felt seen and understood. I've been going through similar emotions and thoughts myself for over 6 years now. Guilt, identity crisis, feeling defeated, stress, frustration. Being kind to myself is also something I've been struggling with the last couple of days too. I've never posted a comment before in my life and don't do anything with YouTube besides watch videos, but I wanted to post one to let you know that I see you, I am you, and that you are not alone. Just know that it's all temporary. pain is temporary. Depression is temporary. Your struggles matter 100% and your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Thank you for making me feel heard. As someone who's mostly scared to open up to others for fear of feeling misunderstood, this video meant so much to me. I truly hope you feel better and I'm so sorry you go through these episodes. You're a force to be reckoned with and I'm really proud of you for continuing to move forward and be the best version of yourself you possibly can because that inspires me to do the same :)

I understand how you feel and I’m glad you made this video because I feel less alone. Every day is a BATTLE. Having to get up and go to work every single day is so exhausting and when I come back home I just lay in bed in the dark for hours till it’s time to sleep and do the same thing over again. I’ve thought about ending my life a million times but I know I’m not going to. Every thing is so so so difficult and I relate to you on not being able to live your life. I hope this medication works out for you ❤

You’re videos bring me a lot of joy and inspiration because I relate so much to you and love the idea of just living a happy, simple life. I’ve been going through a lot of the same emotions, my semi best advice is to just ride the wave, remembering that the sun is brighter on the other side is what keeps me from totally drowning, knowing that it’ll come back is a downer but it’s also a reminder to appreciate the good feelings a little more. It’s understandable that you’re frustrated with your brain, but you need to remind yourself that it is something that you can’t help and remind yourself that you are only human and emotions and difficulties are a part of life. It feels helpless and overwhelming but you will get through it and it won’t be like this forever. We love you Reese, your transparency is beautiful and comforting.

getting through a day is just good enough. at least that’s what i always tell myself when i start to think i’m wasting my time. i’ve come to the conclusion that my purpose of life is just existing bc if i quit my family would be devastated. my purpose is keeping my family from the biggest sadness in life by breathing. and i think the same goes to you too. you are loved and you are needed. sending you so much love ♥️

defo relate on the "oh shit weeks have passed and I still am feeling the same things or doing the same thing day in and day out that I don't want UGH" ty for choosing to share, appreciate your vulnerability, and good luck!!!