Documentary on arranged marriage | "The Only Son" - by Simonka de Jong
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Published 2018-12-11
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Two of Pema’s sisters are adopted: Dorje in America and Sumchog in the Netherlands. Both are artists and received bachelor in Fine Arts. Dorje is the author of, “Yak Girl: Growing Up in the Remote Dolpo Region of Nepal”. Dolma is currently studying in college and Tsering is finishing her high school and she will go to college next. Pema received his bachelor and master’s degree in the Netherlands and currently works there and visits Nepal often to spend time with the family. The second oldest sister, Chunzombuty, lives in Dolpo and is married and happy her children can go to their village school now. Due to health issues and Dolpo not having hospitals, the parents mostly stay in Kathmandu where they have more access to medical care.
The family says, “It was not easy to put our personal lives in the public but we hope our stories will inspire and educate others about the unique Dolpo culture and spread awareness the need for medical and educational resources in Dolpo, Nepal. It is very difficult to survive in Dolpo without proper health care. We lost five of our siblings and our sister, Chunzombuty lost three children. We are extremely grateful our parents made multiple a month-long trek from Dolpo to Kathmandu in order to save our lives from life-threatening health conditions. Without our parent’s bravery, most of us will not be a live today. We currently support and collaborate with several organizations that support people in Nepal especially in Dolpo with education and medical care. And we will continue to advocate health and education need for remote people. Thank you First Hand Films for helping us tell our stories!“.
Want to help?
- Rokpa International, provides shelter, food and education for Nepali children from poor backgrounds. Rokpa was the nonprofit that helped Pema and siblings. rokpa.org/
- Altitude Project, a Canadian nonprofit that supports schools in Upper Dolpo: altitudeproject.ca/
The Only Son - A Film by Simonka de Jong
A Moondocs B.V Production
2013 © Licensed by First Hand Films
All Comments (20)
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My favorite about this film is how the siblings taught themselves to love each other, even being worlds apart, they remain true to their family bonds.
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Their parents loved them enough for the father to walk a month to carry them over the high passes and rugged trails to the orphanage to ensure their survival. It is not the fault of the children not to want to return to that life. It is a very sad dilemma.
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The mother seemed almost resentful toward the children, especially toward the son. It broke my heart to hear her say the things she said to him. It was a beautiful documentary.
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The way he takes care of his sisters...love it.
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He is lives in Amsterdam and a professional photographer and one of his sisters is an 3d artist ...! So proud of them
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You cannot send your children away to be raised elsewhere and expect them to stay connected. It seems to me that the sadness the children feel is that the family cannot remain whole. It is a clash of culture, city vs village, educated vs uneducated. I could not have imagined a community this isolated or an agrarian lifestyle this difficult. This film was a real eye-opener. Well done!
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Pema is the brother we all wish we had! what a beautiful soul he is! incredible documentary!
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The father.. holding the hand of the daughter with the “weak” back… down the mountain.. oh man.. my heart. That father loves those kids
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The son, Pema, is only 19 yrs old, yet he's so wise and so deep. Wiser than most adults over 60. His heart knows what love is. His love and appreciation for his young sisters is evident. He acts more like their grandfather.
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was it just me or I felt like these were children ANY parent should be proud to have..... the way the boy cares for his siblings and loves on his sister's kids..... I was touched
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"Look at you your only 26 but you look 40." The way he said it and the way she took it was all LOVE!!!
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Dear Director or creator, please please I beg you to have a update or part 2. I whole family watched this story together and it ended with a heart ache. We all wonder if Pema gave in and came back home and got married or did the younger sister came home after 10th grade. Would very much love to see them again.
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This documentary deserves an award. Filmed with honesty and integrity we learn how not to judge the decisions of our cousins who cherish their own culture and have fewer choices, and how despite living a life of sacrifice a young man can dream for himself and his siblings. Both siblings like photography and I hope will be given the sponsorship to document the world of their roots and share it with the world.
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imagining their father walking for 10 or more days all alone to go back to the home makes me sad. cruel life
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The father is so sweet, so loving. His kindness surrounds them all.
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Having traditional parents and living a life where you want better, you can see everyone’s perspective. It’s just a sad situation for everyone. But I love that their brother thinks well for them and himself. I love how his father went to receive them and sent them all the way back. A 10 day walking journey is crazy! I hope their mother finds peace.
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The silent HERO of the film is their Father.. how he is standing tall and carrying himself .. such a control over emotions .. hatsoff
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The father still meeting them halfway is ❤️! His smile 😭
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The fact all of them came home to a place where they no longer felt connected to is beautiful. To hold their birth parents so high they would travel in high and low altitude is wonderful. For the father so walk and carry his kids on his back and they when they are grown to meet them as they return is heart wrenching… but the guilt tripping off the Mum not realizing that they could’ve never returned but did is hair pulling. She doesn’t realize why the father gave up asking. They aren’t of the village anymore they growing in a different place and that isn’t something one can just switch off. This is a wonderful documentary. That I don’t regret staying up late to watch!
