Is a Hyper-focus on Trauma Actually Hurting Us?  with Maria Baer

"There is a certain poverty that arises out of prosperity". Amen, sister.

As a therapist, I do think people are being over-diagnosed. I know many people who have spent 10 minutes with a PCP because they were feeling kind of low or a bit anxious. They're sent home with a prescription which oftentimes does not help at all and leads to more medicines. Uncomfortable emotions don't always equate to a mental health diagnosis. At the very least, these folks need more than 10 minutes to figure it out. They deserve that much.

After going through 2 bouts of legitimate depression, I now know the difference between being depressed and just down. So I know what to do in both cases. I personally think that a lot of psychology is garbage and there are people who deal with severe mental health disorders. I have noticed that people throw around trauma like it’s a badge of honor.

Yes. The focus on trauma is pathetic and diminishes when people ACTUALLY encounter truly traumatic experiences

I am happy to see you address this subject. As a widow of less than 2 years, I am a bit dumbfounded at other widows and widowers who have been completely derailed & paralyzed in their grief as Christians even after 5, 10 or 20 years! I am coaching individuals and building resilience is the entire premise. (I also lead a GriefShare group which is always my first recommendation.) I agree that expectations that go unrealized is a huge part of the problem. There are also people, for whatever reason, who enjoy being victims and make a profession out of it. You spoke mostly of young people but I'm dealing with people from 50 to 80, give or take. Why do we think we should be exempt from suffering? I can tell you that physical suffering as a high functioning quad for the past 38 years has matured me in Christ and developed my character like nothing else could. I credit that for being able to process and move forward after my wonderful husband of 45 years passed relatively suddenly. Jesus is faithful in every situation. He is the joy giver and the peace in the storm. He is not a vending machine that gives us what we want. He does give us what we need.

Thank you for this! As a teacher in a Christian school, I have been concerned about how much the world's thinking about "trauma" is affecting our approach to student accountability and discipline. And the example Alisa gave about the guy wanting an audio book--this is so prevalent in education right now. We are not addressing real problems that students have--we are sidestepping their weaknesses and making them fragile in the process.

This was a great program. At 70, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been through enough trauma, that they could have let it destroy them. The day I decided to stop being a victim and get out of my head, was the day I got my life back. How can I be effective and encouraging to others and find purpose in my life when I get lost in my own pain. God meant for us to use our pain and challenges to help pull others up.

You just confirmed what I have been thinking about for a time now. I see that everywhere. I had to deal with my trauma and move on otherwise I would have been misserable all the time. Thank you.

People confuse the role of therapy and counseling. It's to learn to live with reality, not necessarily to feel better.

Remember, things don’t happen as fast as one can read. In other words Job most likely didn’t wake up the next morning with more livestock etc. .

Not sure if this was mentioned in the podcast, but Abigail Shrier's recent book on this topic is so good, called "Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up"

I guess it is hard to find that balance. We don't want to hyper focus but do want to acknowledge it and give the help needed

If we understand suffering as loss of agency, rather than just an experience of pain, it can help us see how we can transcend suffering. I think this is what enabled Paul to be content in all situations. He realized that in the midst of pain and trial, he still had a choice in his response. Similarly, James said we can have joy in the face of trials because he saw the characterological fruit it could produce.

One contributing factor to parents being overprotective of their children is car-dependence. When towns and cities are designed so that cars are the only practical way to get around then they become less safe for children to play outside (both due to the increased number of cars and the lower number of "eyes on the street"). And in such an environment children don't have the option to go places by themselves, which makes it impossible for them to begin learning how to be independent until they are old enough to drive. This has a lot of impact on the way children are raised and seen. If the only options to give your children something to do when they aren't at school are activities at home or driving them to a supervised activity that's going to make everybody in that society view children as more infantile than they would be in a society where there were other options. This is obviously an entirely separate factor to the ones you were discussing in the video, but it certainly reinforces the factors you were talking about.

Great link between the trauma focus and deconstruction

I’m really looking forward to watching all of this. As someone who works in the drug and alcohol prevention and recovery field and heavily involved in schools and social emotional learning, I do worry sometimes that we are creating the next generation to be so hyper focused on their emotions and themselves that we could be encouraging too much selfishness. On the other hand, there are so many kids with dealing with unimaginable traumas in their life, so it’s important to create a balance and not delegitimize serious hurts.

If you are a "hostage" you have nowhere to go, and yes, it hurt to be alone in pain and suffering

This is on topic as I've been thinking about suffering today. TBN had a great epsiode about being able to process our emotions. A lot of people don't know how to process through. They stuff it down with food, they distract themselves with social media they even turn to addiction to avoid dealing with their pain. Whereas in Scripture we see Jesus agonizing over his coming suffering and death and asking the Father if he could let this cup pass from Him. He was expressing all of his emotions to the Father! Something I think most people forget. This is how we process, we bring it all to the table He is our Comforter and our strength.

At the end of the Breakpoint weekly podcast this week Maria recommended listening to her conversation with Alisa. What a relief to hear this. I keep hearing about trauma informed therapy and fearing that I have suppressed something which might explain years of battling depression, anxiety and an eating disorder. At the same time, I feel terrified about what I might unearth. In the 90s my sister became convinced that the reason for her severe mental illness was a repressed memory of abuse. With the help of a counselor and peers she concluded that our dad had abused all 7 children and we had repressed the memory. It wasn’t true but so much pain was caused. When I worry about some repressed memory being the key to solving my problems my counselor has always said that we are responsible for what we do with what has happened to us. This is a blessing to hear this. I can focus on getting better and let go of probing for trauma, thank you.

This is marvelous. I've thought this for some time now. From a Freedom vs Tyranny perspective, tyrants can rule far more easily over a nation of basketcases. Stand up, friends! Be strong! 💪 🇺🇸