This Romantic Gesture Is Actually a Major RED FLAG | Matthew Hussey

RECIPROCATION. "Don't invest in someone based on how much you like them. Invest in them based on how much they invest in you." -Matthew Hussey.

My biggest red flag that happened recently was I was the only one asking questions. If someone doesn’t want to get to know you on a deeper level…know they aren’t serious.

I, as a guy, have made these types of mistakes many times. Nobody (and I mean NOBODY) has ever told me in my entire life that what I was doing was wrong and why it was wrong. These videos are so incredibly helpful.

this totally makes sense. This explains why generations ago, a father would say," what are your intentions?' He wasn't asking for a proposal, he was saying, My daughter isn't a toy for an experience. How committed are you to having a relationship where communication and responsible behaviors are in place.

It’s the difference between a person wanting to do something really cool with SOMEONE vs that person wanting to do a lot more ordinary things with YOU SPECIFICALLY.

I recently met a man who told me about his ex who "was the love of his life". I was proud of myself to see immediately that he was telling me he would never love me - and I ran for my life. In the past I have been hooked into accepting 2nd best place. Lol - growth is good!

My biggest RED FLAG, is when someone is happy to talk about themselves and be listened to, but when you want to talk they interrupt you with what they were thinking about while you were talking. Sometimes you only get to say one word and they start talking again, even if they just asked how are you, lol 😂

This can also apply to friendships, some people do not value YOU They just need ANYONE there. Settling is truly a big time wasting mistake.

What I love about my husband as he has never asked my messy ADHD self to change for him, and I haven't asked his Autistic anti social self to change. But its easy to sort of mesh together. We understand each other. We both can feel close, sitting saying nothing to each other. Yes we do special things together, but just being together feels right. We trust each other

When he started talking about little betrayals to yourself, I almost started crying. So often I think as women we settle for something that falls short and try to accommodate ourselves and make that thing work. Instead of standing strong and not settling, pursuing something that is worth holding out for.

Wow I’m immediately a fan. This guy really has emotional intelligence. He’s not teaching men to be the way “men think women like” but actually the way women like. He’s teaching women to understand men too. He’s teaching people about people. About themselves. It’s incredible. The perceptiveness of this guy

I learned that a partner is right for you when you can be yourself and be creative. When one is in a toxic relationship there is no personal growth. In my last marriage I was isolated and kept my head down and was so depressed. I never had a happy thought so how could I see myself painting or singing or laughing at anything?

My traumatised self watching all of these videos even when things aren’t bad 😂

It takes practice and patience to recognize when a relationship is built on escapism. I see this a lot especially in online dating, people looking to escape their boredom with dates but not actually looking for authentic, long-lasting connections even though they might say that's what they're looking for. I think a lot of humans don't even know what escapism is in themselves or in other people.

Be with me in my everyday chores and struggles, don't come to me just to enjoy some big moments.

I had a cat that liked everybody until I came home with my boyfriend, she went for him and hurt him…. He was bad news and she felt it. She doesn’t live anymore but I’m still proud of her.😢😊

When my partner and I were initially long distance, I let him reach out to me and initiate visits more than I did to get a sense of where he was really at and what he was desiring. He called me. He suggested him coming to visit and then he did. He started doing that every other weekend. When we talked, our phone conversations would often last hours and we talked about everything, including our everyday lives. After seeing that, I called him more and visited him during my school breaks. It was so clear from the beginning that he wanted a genuine connection and a real, committed relationship!

Every problem cannot be solved with a "grand gesture." It takes more than trips/vacations or exciting experiences to make a relationship work.

I see this a lot on online dating. A lot of men seem to be looking for an adventure buddy “someone who likes the outdoors/hiking/travelling” but this is not the same as wanting a relationship. The main reason they seem to want a woman is to go on adventures with and do THEIR favourite activities. It would be the same as me saying “I want someone to join me on shopping trips”. Looking for someone to join you on your favourite activities is kinda selfish, the correct answer should be to enjoy doing things you both enjoy after you have found out if you share their same goals and values. Otherwise you are just their replacement dog going for walks with them in a park. There needs to be more signs from the start that he is looking for something deeper otherwise don’t be suprised when you want emotional intelligence, a husband and children and the only thing we wants from you is to go for hikes with him every week. Be pickier, vet him properly and walk away if you intuition tells you he is more prioritised with adventure rather than building a home, if that’s what you want.

This isn't exactly a match for "Love bombing" but I think it's close enough to be equally a red flag. A lover bomber is someone who invests big into you, and then pulls away after a couple weeks to get you to do all the giving in the relationship for the rest of your life (or usefulness to the other person) And if you don't keep it up, they leave you for someone else.