The ROOT CAUSE Of Trauma & Why You FEEL LOST In Life | Dr. Gabor Maté & Jay Shetty

Mate said: There is no reason to purposely expose a kid to pain because pain will come naturally. Our job is to help them through. Pain is inevitable. It doesn't have to be traumatic we need to know how to interact with them while they are enduring that.

This man is the true definition of the word healer.

I am a sensitive person and can definitely relate to how hard it feels to be in the world right now.

45:57 "Having said that, the other child who doesn't become an addict hasn't neccessarily escaped". This is me. I didn't become addicted like my sibling, but I also never truly escaped. I have never felt so understood before in my life.

I am a dyslexic male. Come from 11 children in clouding myself. I was told that I was going to grow up to be a ditch digger. What at the time, I guess my father thought that was the lowest place to be. Instead I became a fishing guide, outdoors individual. The boys in my family consist of lawyers, one retired congressman, dentist. And my dads dad, and my mothers brother, and his son now were, or are judges to date. I could not fit into, let alone learn how to do these thing. I can say I do not know how I am still here today, due to my own wants not to be. All I ever wished for growing up, was to be held, feel loved, and told everything would be okay. Many issues I know that I am still dealing with. I been to numerous counselors over the years. Some helped. Most made things much worse for me. I enjoyed this video, and wish I had people like you to help me when I needed you. I guess I probably still need you and you help. That you for sharing your thoughts, and knowing, knowledge with me my friend. Also I am new subscriber to you channel, will continue to watch.

As Gabor wrote in one of his books: “It is impossible to understand addiction without asking what relief the addict finds, or hopes to find, in the drug or the addictive behavior.”

“Pain is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to become traumatic.” Love your children. ❤ 28:48

It breaks my heart to see how many of us were sexually abused as kids and how that affected us as adults. But one thing i know each one of us is a freaking SURVIVOR.

What a gift Gabor Maté is to the world.

To never fit in.. to always feeling I can't handle societies expectations..to feel like a dreamer walking a foot above the ground.... To knowing that it's ok to be me that I'm not a freak. Accepting ourselves as beautiful wonderful people regardless .. I'm ok with that. I'm ecstatic. I think I just grew wings

This man has helped me big time!! from last week all I'm watching and listening on YouTube is Gabor's lectures. Day 4 of being sober and counting....

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 05:41 🌱 Trauma is not what happened to you; it's the wound that is sustained as a result of what happened to you. Trauma is a psychic wound that can be healed. 08:57 💪 Vulnerability is essential for growth, and time alone does not heal wounds. Healing involves becoming whole, and it requires letting go of defenses. 14:02 🧒 Children need unconditional love, freedom to experience all emotions, and the opportunity for spontaneous play for healthy development. The current societal conditions often fail to meet these essential needs. 20:02 👶 Children raised with a more natural and nurturing approach tend to have healthier self-identities and resist societal pressures to conform to external values. They find purpose and remain grounded. 22:59 🧰 Unlearning past behaviors and developing a different perspective can help navigate the world more authentically and effectively, even in a society with contrasting values and expectations. 23:41 🧠 Identifying and addressing the trauma in one's life can help break the cycle of repeating the same patterns as most people do. 25:32 🚼 Mollycoddling children isn't about loving them too much but about projecting parental anxieties onto them, which can make kids anxious and ungrounded. 28:45 🧒 Children don't need to be deliberately exposed to pain, as life will inevitably bring pain. The key is to support them while they endure pain, helping them move through it. 35:01 🙇‍♂️ The challenge is to balance authenticity and attachment. Over-identifying with roles and labels can limit personal growth and authenticity. 46:07 💪 Sensitivity in children varies, and their reactions to trauma are influenced by factors such as birth order, family circumstances, and coping mechanisms developed. 46:21 🙏 Acknowledgment of suffering is the first step in healing, and it's important to listen and fully acknowledge the pain and trauma. 50:29 🌍 Loneliness is a perception, and there's a difference between being alone and being lonely. It's essential to be open, vulnerable, and willing to connect with others to combat loneliness. 53:33 💡 Human nature isn't rigidly defined, but human potential is based on human needs. Meeting these needs leads to healthy development, while frustration of these needs can lead to negative outcomes. 01:00:55 ✌️ Acknowledgment of suffering, especially on a societal level, is crucial for healing and reconciliation, as seen in the example of post-genocide Rwanda. 01:07:51 🙅 Don't wait for external apologies or validation for healing. Acknowledge your suffering, look for wisdom and healing within your culture and society, and don't become dependent on external factors for healing. 01:09:47 🤔 Forgiveness is about releasing hatred and resentment that limits you, not necessarily condoning the actions. 01:10:28 🌟 Spirituality is a sense of connection to something larger than oneself, transcending body and ego. 01:11:20 🌿 Indigenous people have a profound connection with nature, emphasizing unity with the environment. 01:11:47 💫 The medicine wheel in indigenous traditions involves emotional, physical, social, and spiritual aspects, promoting wholeness. 01:16:00 🦋 The best advice on healing and trauma is to "be yourself"

Listening to Gabor Mate makes me love humanity. His way of talking about the human species is so interesting and passionate. Thank you Jay for having this conversation recorded !

"Don't wait for the world to apologise, acknowledge your own pain", no one else can ever truly know. From here we move into understanding, acceptance and then choosing to heal. The first step is realising you have pain especially if it's been there all the time. So very appreciative and grateful for the change you're making to the world, Gabor Mate. You are like a tissue picked up in the middle, all the corners follow.

“Vulnerability is our capacity to be wounded” ❤

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

I’m a Indigenous person from North America, I also live in Vancouver, Canada. I really liked how Dr. Gabor talks about acknowledging your own suffering and pain, it’s what I have been doing the last couple years since these residential schools have drastically effected my life. It’s what I’m showing others in the Indigenous community now they can do by being that example of it, by slowly going back to my traditionally ways. Thank you for that acknowledgement on these things Dr. Gabor.

As a highly sensitive woman who struggles with BPD I finally feel understood by a doctor 🤯 thank you!

The zen in his voice!! I could listen to him all day! He makes me feel calm 🙏🏻 Such wisdom 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

I resonated with “Being alone is a fact that we can embrace and make decisions about. Loneliness is a perception with an emotion charge to it. You can be alone and not be lonely. And you can be surrounded by all kinds of people and feel Lonely. It’s just how you chose to perceive it. Suffering has to be acknowledged to heal. You have to understand your trauma. Don’t wait for the world to acknowledge ur suffering acknowledge it yourself so you can finally heal. Release ur heart from the cage trauma cause.”